TOP TEN REASONS WHY THE SNOW WEASELS WON
FIRST PLACE AT THE 1999
ILLINOIS STATE SNOW SCULPTING
COMPETITION


10.  Handed out twenty dollar bills along with  Weasel Buttons. 

  9.   Limited meals to only three times a day. 

  8.   The Weasels' snow didn't melt because it was secretly replaced with 
        Folger's Crystals 

  7.   Bribed Vikings to knock over Lynn Bute's sculpture. 

  6.   Promised High School teams answers to all final exams if they helped         Weasels finish their piece. 

  5.   Used Frank Beach as model for Buddha.. 

  4.   Promised Sue to paint her house if she fixed the election. 

  3.   Blackmailed Vance Barry with nude pictures of him standing in front         of  "Monkey Business" sculpture. 

  2.    Weasels used a time stopping machine.  Actually took them three          weeks. 

  1.    Two words: Kissed Ass. 
 

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