10.   AUTOMATICALLY DISQUALIFIES THEM FROM EVER 
        APPEARING ON "JEOPARDY" 

 9.   GETTING KISSED BY FRANK BEECHE 

 8.   DISTANT RELATIVES CONSTANTLY PESTERING US TO CARVE 
       ICE SCULPTURE CENTERPIECES FOR WEDDING RECEPTIONS 

 7.   EMBARRASSING KICK LINE AT END OF AWARDS CEREMONY 

 6.   FRIENDS AND FAMILY CONSTANTLY BORROWING TROPHIES
       TO GET 10% DISCOUNT AT PARTICIPATING STEAK & SHAKES 

 5.   TROPHIES SO HEAVY THEY HAVE TO CONSTANTLY SEE A
       CHIROPRACTOR TO HAVE SPINES REALINED 

 4.   JUNK MAIL FROM FLY-BY-NIGHT TROHPY POLISHING 
       SERVICES 

 3.   SARCASM FROM MAILMAN WHEN HE SAYS "HERE'S YOUR
       COPY OF BIGG JUGGS MAGAZINE MR. AWARD WINNING
       SNOW SCULPTOR 

 2.   FIGHTING OFF HOARDS OF WEASEL GROUPIES 

 1.   VIKINGS CONSTANTLY KISSING OUR ASS!